Let's Bring Back Teenage Babysitters
This solution to parental stress benefits kids and teens, as well.
One of my kids’ favourite Calvin and Hobbes comic books is called Revenge of the Baby-Sat. It features the usual brilliant escapades experienced by a small boy and his pet tiger, but some of the strips focus on their interactions with a teenage babysitter, Rosalyn, whom they hate.
Rosalyn, who’s the only babysitter willing to take care of Calvin, is depicted as an evil force that upends the routine of their life, and so Calvin tries to cause as many problems as he can. He locks her out of the house, flushes her math homework down the toilet, and calls her boyfriend to warn him about what a tyrant she is.
My children side wholeheartedly with Calvin. They think Rosalyn is terrible and treats him unfairly. When I suggest that perhaps Calvin is a little devil, they deny it vehemently. “He’s so smart and cute! He’s only this big!” They feel total compassion for him.
I, on the other hand, feel for Rosalyn because I used to be a babysitter. I took care of kids, most of whom were fantastic—but once in a while, there was a Calvin in the mix. Despite those challenges, babysitting was extremely formative for me.
That’s why I was interested to learn that teenage babysitters are becoming obsolete. A 2021 article on the Let Grow blog said that few parents are inclined to hire neighborhood teenagers to watch their kids. Amusingly, the average age of babysitters in the United Kingdom has risen from 14 to 34 over the past several decades!
This is unfortunate. There are so many benefits to be had from hiring teenage babysitters. Kids get to interact with a generation that’s in between them and their parents, and thus “cooler”, more fun, and more accessible. Parents get a break from their kids without having to spend as much money. Teens can get out of the house at time when their own parents are desperate for them to leave their rooms and interact socially with other people.
My willingness to babysit opened all kinds of interesting doors. I did hourly babysitting, overnight babysitting, summer weekdays as a live-in nanny for wealthy cottagers in my region, and even took a two-week trip to Canada’s east coast to help a single mom with young children. I chaperoned children at fancy dinner parties, resorts, and concerts.
For one year, I had a standing weekly date with a 4-year-old whom I accompanied to all of Toronto's art galleries and museums, up the CN Tower, and to the zoo. On one memorable evening, I babysat eight children under the age of eight while several sets of parents went out for dinner. I had to turn down invitations to babysit in Hawaii and France because of school conflicts. There was more work than I could possibly take on.
At the time, I viewed those jobs as mostly tedious and a means to an end (easy money in my bank account), but now I see them as formative experiences of their own. The Let Grow blog post reminded me of just how significantly babysitting influenced my worldview and, eventually, my approach to parenting. It made me think that more teens should be babysitting because it really does prepare you for life in a way that few other things can.
Babysitting taught me the value of raising well-behaved children.
It makes everyone's life easier. When kids are consistently polite, pleasant, and responsive when spoken to, they're a delight to be with. I discovered that many kids who act bratty in front of their parents are lovely as soon as their parents leave, and that picky eating habits often evaporate when food is placed in front of them by someone other than their parent.
I gained many practical skills pertaining to children.
This included learning how to change diapers, wipe little bums, wash sticky hands, avoid choking hazards. I discovered that the outdoors is an effective balm to many emotional ailments and the best way to wear out high-energy children and prepare them for bed. I learned that reading books aloud is an excellent way to pass the time and that music makes an instant party.
Babysitting revealed how other households operate.
This was a fascinating, invaluable lesson. It's like doing a mini student exchange for just an evening, minus the travel. I observed people’s skincare regimens and fashion choices and cookbook collections and bookshelves and snack cupboards for clues about how other people live, stashing those tidbits of information for future pondering.
I realized that adults can be cool and fun.
I had great conversations with the parents of children I babysat. Some parents introduced me to their favorite music on the drive home, described their own jobs and interests, and showed curiosity about my schoolwork and life goals. One parent encouraged me to sign up for a year-long student exchange program when I was 16, challenging my initial assumption that a year was too long.
Babysitting taught me how smart and resilient children are.
Kids are great at entertaining themselves and they won't fall apart when their parents leave for a day (or if they do, they recover quickly). In fact, children often enjoy having some time away from their parents, with someone younger and more energetic to watch over them. This taught me to view them as strong, independent little beings whose identities are not defined by their parents.
In a society where families are increasingly isolated from each other, where children are no longer raised by a “village” or community of caring individuals, where parents feel like they're doing it all on their own and are fearful of letting children explore neighborhoods on their own, hiring a teenage babysitter is a simple way to bridge that gap and fill a void. It brings a small part of the community into the home, while giving that teen a chance to gain some independence, too.
The next time you’re craving a date night with your partner, don't hesitate to call on that teen down the street and offer him or her a job. It could be a great thing for all of you.
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How would you navigate teenage babysitters and their cell phones/social media? I have two young daughters, and we are choosing to keep them off of our own social media platforms. I have a hard time trusting teenagers’ attentiveness towards my children (distracted by their phones instead of interacting with my girls) as well as trusting that they will respect our wishes to keep our daughters off of Snapchat/instagram/tik tok/etc. ?
This is such a good perspective! And I agree with others' qualms about phone usage.
I babysat so much when I was in high school and it was really valuable. It was also scary. I imagine that other sitters have experienced scarier things (like predatory adults, etc.), but one of the houses I sat in just had a layout with a lot of blind corners. And I love horror movies. It often occurred to me that someone could break in and the kids were up this long, narrow staircase, and it was just little old me protecting them. My imagination had me looking over my shoulder constantly after bedtime. But, the thing is, that scary aspect of babysitting was formative too. Knowing that I was in charge and that I could be brave (even if the fears were imaginary) was a big part of the experience. And the money helped!