I'm graduating my 5th high schooler this year without a smart phone (they get a dumb phone when they start driving). Not one of my young adult kids have said anything whatsoever about regretting that. Stay the course, it's worth it.
Thank you for this. It is a lonely job to be a “no phone parent”, so good to hear someone else is going through the same.
I wanted to ask how do you deal with kids’ friends bringing phones/ tablets/consoles over or your kids playing on those devices when visiting friends house ?
It is inspiring to read about other parents who are standing strong on the issue of teens and smartphones. Instead of paddling upstream, I see it as simply stepping out of the current; opting out of the cultural trend of our time. Thank you for your writing on this vital issue!
We've been swimming against the current (or stepping out of it as Shannon said above 👍🏻) almost since our kids were born--and each year as we learn more we do more things that are countercultural. I can't say it gets easier, but we get more hardened to it I guess. Appreciate all you've shared here--very helpful insights. Here's to being early adopters. (And also being very convicted about my own technology use--going to really dial it back as a test run over the summer).
My husband and I are also stepping out of the current with our almost four year old and it feels right for us. I like the phrase "in our family, we do..." to explain why we don't have tablets or let him use our phone. Hopefully we are modeling for him and others around us.
I'm glad your son's English teacher spoke up. I wish our children weren't burdened by this issue. One thing I've run into with my almost 15-year-old son, who has a standard Gabb phone (no Internet/social media/games/group texting/media sharing), is that when I've said that he can tell his friends that I'm to blame for him not having a smartphone or group texting or Snapchat, he's responded that he won't do it because that in itself is embarrassing for him. I hadn't originally anticipated his response, but now it makes sense to me that he'd feel that way. This likely isn't the experience of all teens in the same situation, but it may be for some, so I just wanted to mention that for parents who plan to avoid smartphones for their children.
I'm graduating my 5th high schooler this year without a smart phone (they get a dumb phone when they start driving). Not one of my young adult kids have said anything whatsoever about regretting that. Stay the course, it's worth it.
Thank you for this. It is a lonely job to be a “no phone parent”, so good to hear someone else is going through the same.
I wanted to ask how do you deal with kids’ friends bringing phones/ tablets/consoles over or your kids playing on those devices when visiting friends house ?
Hello Lina. Thanks for your comment. I wrote an article on how I deal with other kids' phones. You can read it here: https://katherinemartinko.substack.com/p/how-to-handle-other-kids-with-phones. Hope that helps!
Thank you, that was really helpful!
It is inspiring to read about other parents who are standing strong on the issue of teens and smartphones. Instead of paddling upstream, I see it as simply stepping out of the current; opting out of the cultural trend of our time. Thank you for your writing on this vital issue!
Thank you. I like that way of thinking about it—stepping out of the current. I'll keep that in mind.
We've been swimming against the current (or stepping out of it as Shannon said above 👍🏻) almost since our kids were born--and each year as we learn more we do more things that are countercultural. I can't say it gets easier, but we get more hardened to it I guess. Appreciate all you've shared here--very helpful insights. Here's to being early adopters. (And also being very convicted about my own technology use--going to really dial it back as a test run over the summer).
My husband and I are also stepping out of the current with our almost four year old and it feels right for us. I like the phrase "in our family, we do..." to explain why we don't have tablets or let him use our phone. Hopefully we are modeling for him and others around us.
I really like that. We say something similar to our 8 year old. "Different families have different rules, and that's okay".
I will definitely remember your phrasing as my son gets older, because I assume there will be more back and forth when he is 8!
I'm glad your son's English teacher spoke up. I wish our children weren't burdened by this issue. One thing I've run into with my almost 15-year-old son, who has a standard Gabb phone (no Internet/social media/games/group texting/media sharing), is that when I've said that he can tell his friends that I'm to blame for him not having a smartphone or group texting or Snapchat, he's responded that he won't do it because that in itself is embarrassing for him. I hadn't originally anticipated his response, but now it makes sense to me that he'd feel that way. This likely isn't the experience of all teens in the same situation, but it may be for some, so I just wanted to mention that for parents who plan to avoid smartphones for their children.