Love this. My kiddos asked me if I was excited for back to school because I needed a break from them yesterday. I could honestly tell them that while I’m looking forward to routine and I enjoy the change of seasons - I do not need a “break” from them. Our summer of sailing and outdoor time and adventures and family movies was absolutely precious to me and I’m sad to see it go!
You are an inspiration. Keep it up! I am going to protest our high school’s use of cell phones for student attendance and other reasons to bring phones to school.
Your kids are very fortunate indeed! Well done…and absolutely true that you can only enjoy each day. But each positive day is building a foundation for future happiness and success when you are all adults!
I've read this like I was reading my mind. although my kids are still very young to even consider smartphones, it's a constant discussion topic at my house.
Congrats on staying true to what you believe! I have in mind that the best parenting it the one focudsed on the well being of the family, regardless os social tendencies.
I love this. We spent the (US) holiday weekend in the woods with friends and were completely off the grid. I didn't even know what time it was until we started talking about making dinner.
My husband and I really enjoy our lives and our little guy seems to be having a good time too. Not having to fight about screen time or how/when we are upgrading to a new device really helps. It's a nice way to live!
As a father of four daughters, all adult now and with their own families, I can wholeheartedly confirm, that "making every day enjoyable" matters more than "focusing on long-term goals". Children will show their own interests, choose their jobs and careers in ways we, parents, cannot even imagine, so too much effort to provide them with digital skills is not necessary; they will learn them quickly when needed.
Happy childhood, memories of time together, the notion of home as a safe harbour after every, no matter how distant, journey; these are the foundations upon which children will build on their own.
Preach! Thanks for sharing your wisdom on this topic. As a child who was homeschooled until college, and who experienced a very restricted media diet compared to my "normal" peers, I certainly missed out on a lot of references to popular culture... but that was mine and my siblings' only loss. Now, as adults, we feel a tremendous amount of gratitude to our parents for all that they kept us from—and all that we gained instead: a love of literature, the outdoors, time with family, plenty of games and sports, etc. It's worth it to have your kids feel a little left out in the present to feel more whole in the future.
This piece reminds me of the Annie Dillard quote: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." It's so easy to get stuck in the trap of trying to ensure future results (especially for parenting!), but I appreciate your reminder to dial back and focus on quality of life now--which is the foundation for future relationships anyway.
"What Do We Parent For?" -- there's something exquisitely awkward about the novel use of the word parent as a verb. Change the relationship, and it makes even less sense, e.g. "What Do We Spouse For?". Alison Gopnik wrote about that in her excellent book The Gardener And The Carpenter.
Your writing is encouraging and inspiring. We have older teens and parent similarly to you with tech, and it is always uplifting to read your articles.
It is not just the kids who need a less digital life. We adults need it too. It was forced on me yesterday because the internet was out all day. Now the garden looks better and some winter vegetables are sown. Would that have happened if the internet was on? I don't know, perhaps not. The thing is, I feel better about the day. Perhaps a rule for "retired" adults: Only do the computer when it is dark outside. It is dark right now so I am not violating the rule.
Love this. My kiddos asked me if I was excited for back to school because I needed a break from them yesterday. I could honestly tell them that while I’m looking forward to routine and I enjoy the change of seasons - I do not need a “break” from them. Our summer of sailing and outdoor time and adventures and family movies was absolutely precious to me and I’m sad to see it go!
You are an inspiration. Keep it up! I am going to protest our high school’s use of cell phones for student attendance and other reasons to bring phones to school.
Your kids are very fortunate indeed! Well done…and absolutely true that you can only enjoy each day. But each positive day is building a foundation for future happiness and success when you are all adults!
I've read this like I was reading my mind. although my kids are still very young to even consider smartphones, it's a constant discussion topic at my house.
Congrats on staying true to what you believe! I have in mind that the best parenting it the one focudsed on the well being of the family, regardless os social tendencies.
I love this. We spent the (US) holiday weekend in the woods with friends and were completely off the grid. I didn't even know what time it was until we started talking about making dinner.
My husband and I really enjoy our lives and our little guy seems to be having a good time too. Not having to fight about screen time or how/when we are upgrading to a new device really helps. It's a nice way to live!
So encouraging. Thanks for sharing!
As a father of four daughters, all adult now and with their own families, I can wholeheartedly confirm, that "making every day enjoyable" matters more than "focusing on long-term goals". Children will show their own interests, choose their jobs and careers in ways we, parents, cannot even imagine, so too much effort to provide them with digital skills is not necessary; they will learn them quickly when needed.
Happy childhood, memories of time together, the notion of home as a safe harbour after every, no matter how distant, journey; these are the foundations upon which children will build on their own.
I appreciate the image of a safe harbour.
Preach! Thanks for sharing your wisdom on this topic. As a child who was homeschooled until college, and who experienced a very restricted media diet compared to my "normal" peers, I certainly missed out on a lot of references to popular culture... but that was mine and my siblings' only loss. Now, as adults, we feel a tremendous amount of gratitude to our parents for all that they kept us from—and all that we gained instead: a love of literature, the outdoors, time with family, plenty of games and sports, etc. It's worth it to have your kids feel a little left out in the present to feel more whole in the future.
This piece reminds me of the Annie Dillard quote: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." It's so easy to get stuck in the trap of trying to ensure future results (especially for parenting!), but I appreciate your reminder to dial back and focus on quality of life now--which is the foundation for future relationships anyway.
I love that quote! I used it in my book.
"What Do We Parent For?" -- there's something exquisitely awkward about the novel use of the word parent as a verb. Change the relationship, and it makes even less sense, e.g. "What Do We Spouse For?". Alison Gopnik wrote about that in her excellent book The Gardener And The Carpenter.
Ha! So true. Will keep that in mind!
Your writing is encouraging and inspiring. We have older teens and parent similarly to you with tech, and it is always uplifting to read your articles.
Thank you!
It is not just the kids who need a less digital life. We adults need it too. It was forced on me yesterday because the internet was out all day. Now the garden looks better and some winter vegetables are sown. Would that have happened if the internet was on? I don't know, perhaps not. The thing is, I feel better about the day. Perhaps a rule for "retired" adults: Only do the computer when it is dark outside. It is dark right now so I am not violating the rule.
A good rule of thumb. I like it.