My Unconventional Reasons for Loving Halloween

I look forward to this night all year long.

I love Halloween, but for reasons that differ from most people. The only decorations outside my house are three carved pumpkins—oh, and a string of orange fairy lights that my cousin gave me last week. It is now hanging in the window; as you can see, I’m really taking things to the next level.

Despite living in town, we get hardly any trick-or-treaters. Last year we had zero, the year before there were two. So, we’re not exactly a hot spot, though every year I buy candy in hopes that the hordes of cute costumed kids might show up.

My love for Halloween stems from the fact that it’s such an aberration from societal norms.

For this one single night a year, kids are allowed to do exactly what they are told not to do the rest of the year—wander the streets without adult supervision after dark, choose their own route, jaywalk across streets with their vision partially obstructed by awkwardly sized plastic masks, roam in packs with similarly outfitted friends, knock on strangers’ doors, interact with unknown adults, accept candy from them, and gorge themselves on said candy. It’s a complete inversion of the norm—and it’s so good for the kids.

This is exactly what kids need, when you consider the excessive number of sedentary hours most now spend indoors, at home, alone, online. The daily averages for entertainment-based screen time range from 5.5 hours (8- to 12-year-olds) to 8 hours, 40 minutes (13- to 18-year-olds). That is a staggering quantity of time not spent doing many of the active, formative things a kid should be doing in order to experience life and develop optimally. Halloween is a superb opportunity to reclaim that independent, adventurous spirit and remind kids of what they’re capable of doing.

I remember feeling wary when my 11-year-old announced he was going to trick-or-treat on his own with friends. I warned him about cars. For a ridiculous minute, I tried to get him to wear a reflective vest, which was met with absolute outrage, until his father intervened and said I needed to relax. He was fine, and the look of joy on his face when he got home was worth the stress on my part. Now I don’t think twice about it; heck, if my 9-year-old wants to go solo this year, I’ll say yes.

The other reason I love Halloween is because it’s doughnut day!

Every October 31, I make a batch of 100 homemade doughnuts and invite close friends to come help fry, glaze, and eat all of them. It’s a family tradition that my aunt started years ago when her daughters outgrew trick-or-treating but still wanted something fun to do on Halloween. I’ve been doing it for four years now, and it has become a somewhat legendary event in the community. The kitchen fills with gleeful, sticky people of all ages who gorge themselves on fried dough and ride sugar highs for the rest of the night.

I am a firm believer in needing to create more fun in our lives, and often the very best fun is homemade, casual, spontaneous, and cross-generational. Catherine Price has written about the need for “pattern separation” in life, about seeking out opportunities that break up the monotony of daily life. I quoted her in an earlier post called The Forgettability of Sameness, but I think it deserves repeating here:

When you start sprinkling fun, exciting, or challenging experiences (“small rebellions”) into your life, you swap out that smooth, indistinguishable chain for “the equivalent of a necklace made of colorful beads, each of which holds the potential to become, in the words of Johan Huizinga, ‘a treasure to be retained by the memory.’ The more distinct these beads are (and the more beads you collect each day), the more time will seem to slow down.”

My annual doughtnut party is a perfect example of “a treasure to be retained by the memory,” a little bead on the necklace of my life that provides a small surge of joy every time I think of it. I’m not saying everyone needs to start making doughnuts on Halloween, but it has certainly helped transform an otherwise overly commercial holiday into something that feels truly special to many people.

In the meantime, let those kids go! If they want greater independence tonight, try to push yourself out of your comfort zone and say yes. See it as an opportunity to meet neighbours, to familiarize yourselves with the neighbourhood, to practice the very important life skill of being able to talk to strangers. And then, consider how you can continue prioritizing these same independent skills beyond October 31. Your kids will thank you for it someday.

You Might Also Like:

• Memento Mori: This Is All We Get

• Family Day Bagels

• Let Them Have Silence

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