If everyone would read and follow these, we would have different connections to our kids, families and the world around us. - spending time offline is refreshing. (From a millennial computer scientist)
Those are great ideas, especially the minimalist themes, I'd never thought of that before.
Another, if you want to introduce music from early on, is to buy some sort of audio system so that you're not that dependent on your phone for it. Nothing too fancy, though. Around her 12th month we got our daughter a little old-school cassette player, complete with a foldable antenna and bad audio quality and everything, that she can work completely by herself (CDs are too gentle, vinyl is too big and clumsy). Every month or so we buy new tapes and we let her choose what she wants to listen to, and by now it's a whole ritual — sitting in front of the player, choosing a tape, and so on. She also listens to books that way and now, at 25 months, she pretty much knows the Nutcracker by heart. Another unexpected benefit is that it’s quite useful in developing fine motor skills -- over time she learned to press all the buttons by herself, open the tapes, put them inside the player, rotate them when a side's finished, and so on. It's perfect.
Oh, and another idea: because we live away from our closest family, we're on video call at least 3-4 times a week, so to keep phones away we only use laptops which are, somehow, just not that interesting to her. Just something to consider and, hopefully, to be used.
That's a great idea. Sometimes we are far too quick to dismiss analog ways of doing things, without realizing the value they hold, especially for kids. Thanks for sharing!
9 is a big one for me. It's also a tricky one. Unless I am putting on music or legitimately checking a message most of my phone time is an absolute waste of time which I'd want to minimise even if I didn't have kids. My wife is on her phone a lot more than me, but a very large fraction of that is buying secondhand necessities and gifts for the kids, and researching days out and buying tickets. I hate the fact that that totally wholesome and necessary activity looks exactly the same as mooching on social media if you do it on a phone.
This came at the perfect time for me, only yesterday I realised, that even with socials deleted from my phone, I was on it too much, constantly messaging and ‘checking in’ with people. As a homeschooling mother I realised just how much I was being pulled away from my kids. So I’ve set myself a goal of having my phone on airplane mode from the moment the kids wake, until lunch. I realised that I don’t actually need to be talking to anyone in this time. I can keep it with me when we go out in case of emergencies, but it’s on airplane!
I loved all these other suggestions, some I have dabbled with but need to dive into more fully. Thank you for sharing 💛
My 2.5 yr old daughter is extremely interested in my phone and I always wondered why, since I‘m barely texting or scrolling, when the kids are around. BUT I was often pulling it out of my pocket to check the time. (You know, the „What?! Only 5 mins have passed?!“)
So I got a wristwatch for the first time since I was a teenager and it has a calming effect on me as well, since I don’t run the risk of checking for time and noticing a message or email or anything that would catch my attention.
I believe we have a choice! I left social media in 2021 and now I help other writers (and moms) who want to do the same. I understand why some people choose to stay. But if you want to leave, you can.
Love this. I became a mom this year and have been looking for practical ways to be on my phone less, especially in front of my baby girl. Thank you for this Katherine!
Absolutely agree, we teach them through example. I'm not with my phone while I'm with my daughter, I don't have social media on my phone, and many of the things you mentioned here I'm already at, but I'm taking a step on others that I'm not at. Thank you for putting the spotlight on this subject and sharing all this. Greatly appreciated.
This is such a great list! I’m personally addressing my over-dependence on my phone. I have found that removing my email app has made a world of difference!
The concept of touching the phone once makes a lot of sense. But (and I may be speaking for myself only when I say this) PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME. 😬
As an introvert, cold calls feel intrusive to me. Plus, because I keep my phone on silent, I likely will not pick it up anyway.
Unless it’s an emergency, I prefer you text first. We can move to a phone call if necessary. 👍🏻
You're not wrong! There's something a bit jolting about the phone ringing, and it can feel like an imposition at times. An introductory text can be useful.
If everyone would read and follow these, we would have different connections to our kids, families and the world around us. - spending time offline is refreshing. (From a millennial computer scientist)
It is indeed refreshing, and such a good reminder of all the wonderful things that exist apart from our devices—when we remember to look up from them.
All excellent ideas!
Such a good list!
Those are great ideas, especially the minimalist themes, I'd never thought of that before.
Another, if you want to introduce music from early on, is to buy some sort of audio system so that you're not that dependent on your phone for it. Nothing too fancy, though. Around her 12th month we got our daughter a little old-school cassette player, complete with a foldable antenna and bad audio quality and everything, that she can work completely by herself (CDs are too gentle, vinyl is too big and clumsy). Every month or so we buy new tapes and we let her choose what she wants to listen to, and by now it's a whole ritual — sitting in front of the player, choosing a tape, and so on. She also listens to books that way and now, at 25 months, she pretty much knows the Nutcracker by heart. Another unexpected benefit is that it’s quite useful in developing fine motor skills -- over time she learned to press all the buttons by herself, open the tapes, put them inside the player, rotate them when a side's finished, and so on. It's perfect.
Oh, and another idea: because we live away from our closest family, we're on video call at least 3-4 times a week, so to keep phones away we only use laptops which are, somehow, just not that interesting to her. Just something to consider and, hopefully, to be used.
That's a great idea. Sometimes we are far too quick to dismiss analog ways of doing things, without realizing the value they hold, especially for kids. Thanks for sharing!
9 is a big one for me. It's also a tricky one. Unless I am putting on music or legitimately checking a message most of my phone time is an absolute waste of time which I'd want to minimise even if I didn't have kids. My wife is on her phone a lot more than me, but a very large fraction of that is buying secondhand necessities and gifts for the kids, and researching days out and buying tickets. I hate the fact that that totally wholesome and necessary activity looks exactly the same as mooching on social media if you do it on a phone.
This came at the perfect time for me, only yesterday I realised, that even with socials deleted from my phone, I was on it too much, constantly messaging and ‘checking in’ with people. As a homeschooling mother I realised just how much I was being pulled away from my kids. So I’ve set myself a goal of having my phone on airplane mode from the moment the kids wake, until lunch. I realised that I don’t actually need to be talking to anyone in this time. I can keep it with me when we go out in case of emergencies, but it’s on airplane!
I loved all these other suggestions, some I have dabbled with but need to dive into more fully. Thank you for sharing 💛
Great list! I love it!
My 2.5 yr old daughter is extremely interested in my phone and I always wondered why, since I‘m barely texting or scrolling, when the kids are around. BUT I was often pulling it out of my pocket to check the time. (You know, the „What?! Only 5 mins have passed?!“)
So I got a wristwatch for the first time since I was a teenager and it has a calming effect on me as well, since I don’t run the risk of checking for time and noticing a message or email or anything that would catch my attention.
Smart move! It's funny how those old-fashioned, analog technologies end up simplifying our lives in surprising ways.
The thing I've learned over the past couple years is we don't have a choice on whether we DO social media, the question is how well we do it.
I believe we have a choice! I left social media in 2021 and now I help other writers (and moms) who want to do the same. I understand why some people choose to stay. But if you want to leave, you can.
Love everything about this article! Thanks for sharing such great information about the important subject!
Love this. I became a mom this year and have been looking for practical ways to be on my phone less, especially in front of my baby girl. Thank you for this Katherine!
Amazing read
Great list. Also I’ve loved that Annie Dillard quote forever💕
Absolutely agree, we teach them through example. I'm not with my phone while I'm with my daughter, I don't have social media on my phone, and many of the things you mentioned here I'm already at, but I'm taking a step on others that I'm not at. Thank you for putting the spotlight on this subject and sharing all this. Greatly appreciated.
This is such a great list! I’m personally addressing my over-dependence on my phone. I have found that removing my email app has made a world of difference!
The concept of touching the phone once makes a lot of sense. But (and I may be speaking for myself only when I say this) PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME. 😬
As an introvert, cold calls feel intrusive to me. Plus, because I keep my phone on silent, I likely will not pick it up anyway.
Unless it’s an emergency, I prefer you text first. We can move to a phone call if necessary. 👍🏻
You're not wrong! There's something a bit jolting about the phone ringing, and it can feel like an imposition at times. An introductory text can be useful.
I love the idea Tsh had about making her phone boring and only using initial letters. Absolutely brilliant! ✨
I wonder how she made it!!