Love this piece, Katherine. My thoughts are similar to yours, including that I love my work and it fills my life with meaning and helps me contribute to the world. We keep our kids in U.S. public schools (not nearly as bad as the TX example you mention, but more emphasis on testing than I'd like) in part because it gives our kids an organic opportunity to easily form friendships with kids of different races and economic backgrounds (we're white and middle/upper middle class//our community is super diverse in many ways). I also agree that while not an absolute, we think there's value in deeply investing in our local public schools.
Also, thanks for sharing about the impact of an unintended pregnancy: so common, so important to name and normalize!
Thanks for your honesty! I was also homeschooled, and loved it, but we won't be homeschooling our three kids, for the reasons you note above. Part of me grieves that decision, but reading others like yourself brings me an additional measure of peace. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for writing this. I think another huge advantage to "normal" schooling is the diversity children encounter. My kids go to state school (in the UK, which also seems to suffer far less of the problems I hear about in the US) and their classmates are from all over the world, from all social classes, with all different types of families and home lives. Going to a diverse school gives them a deeper understanding of the world, and how to get along with other humans.
I love that your kids school has an emphasis on outdoor adventure and prioritizing the wellbeing of the children, not implementing screens and the like. I think if there were more schools like this, more people would participate. I homeschool mine and I moved to Texas specifically to do so, because of the large community of people who homeschool here. There are a lot of programs for kids to get into, and my kids love talking and playing with others in our neighborhood. I like being able to tailor what they learn, though it can be difficult at times, and they are doing well. If I need to supplement, I will. Overall, I’m remaining open. Thanks for sharing.
Love this. We didn’t homeschool the past two years and are this year. Taking it as it comes! I also dont like the binary thinking and rhetoric around this topic!
I grew up as one of the few public schooling children in a mostly homeschooling church community. I really appreciate your points here! While public schools aren't for everyone, the ones here in my rural community are pretty good, and even if you can choose not to use the public schools, it wouldn't be good for anyone if they collapsed. Public schools offer opportunities like chem labs, or in my case, band. It's good to have choices, and its okay for those choices to change over time, too. If I have kids, I might public school or homeschool depending on the child and the circumstances.
Thank you for sharing! I think you named a tension that a lot of us feel. Especially as a parent of a neurodivergent kid, I need the break and social support that school provides. However, I do worry about what school will look like as my boys age...we seem to be heading in the wrong direction down here in North Carolina and the pressures (and technology use) just increase as they get into middle and high school. My nephews in middle school use email and learning management systems for all assignments. Our neighborhood school gives each Kindergartner an iPad...
I just got the acceptance letter for my four year old for Head Start and am so excited. Our city offers free Pre-K to all three and four years old regardless of income. This program takes the kids to our local park, so my son and I already know the teacher, and this feels really right. I wish more people would get on board, especially since it is high quality and free.
Katherine, this piece came at exactly the right time!! As a parent in the US who just sent my oldest to kindergarten and my youngest to preschool, I’m feeling acutely the loss of the quality time we had together while also feeling excited about having more time to pursue dreams and projects that haven’t had much room to breathe over the last few years. I vacillate between seeing the benefits of homeschool as outweighing the problems with school (our kids attend a small, private Montessori school) and seeing the benefits of traditional school as outweighing the drawbacks of homeschool. My husband and I keep telling ourselves we’ll take it one year at a time and make changes as needed but man, how to school our children has been the first big parenting decision I’ve felt this conflicted on.
I so appreciate your comments about our civic duty. It's hard to tow the line between doing what's best for our own children and doing what's best for society at large. My son isn't school aged yet, but I'm grateful for the squeaky wheel parents who are working towards changing public schools for their own children and future students.
This was such a refreshing read, Katherine! My siblings and I grew up mostly homeschooling, and while I appreciated aspects of it I also remember really feeling bothered by the notion that homeschooling was an ethical obligation. My parents never expressed feeling this way (their choices had more to do with practicality and the affordability of schools in our area vs the quality of the public schools) but I knew quite a few families who did.
As of now, we have one teenager in private school and one teenager homeschooling, in keeping with the goals and needs of each. The one loves group learning and sports involvement, the other has apprenticeship goals and unique learning opportunities available that a typical school structure would necessarily exclude. I actively plan to homeschool the youngest for the early years, but also feel quite comfortable with the idea of switching to sending him to school later on. Especially because of this: "I view school as complementing my children’s learning, and then I fill in the gaps around those 6 hours." Schoolwork, even at home, is supplemental. I think if more people felt this way there might be less stress about the location and method of the schooling.
I was a homeschool, then public school, then private school kid. So I like to think I have some insight into each, and we are using public school for our children - we are in a high achieving (high income) district in our state, which comes with some challenges, but also lots of parent support and great teachers. My philosophy is to evaluate that they are thriving and learning each year (or semester) and always remember we are responsible for their education. We can decide to use a school to assist us, but ultimately we will need to be available and involved in any education they are receiving.
I really enjoyed this piece! Most of the families in my community are religious (like myself) and view the homeschooling decision as a religious decision and I’ve always struggled with that. As someone who has taught in both public and private schools, I have the unique ability to see both options from the inside and I am still really drawn to the homeschooling option—but only when my kids are younger. Thank you for talking about this in a nuanced way instead of the black and white slant it normally takes!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts so humbly and respectfully! I am considering homeschool as a potential option depending on my daughter's needs, our family's circumstances, what school options we end up having in the next few years, and the desire to live abroad temporarily. I live in New York and I worry about the emphasis on testing, overuse of a screens, and lack of outside time. At the same time I do feel some civic responsibility to try to make some change in the system through participation and I also love working at least part-time. My older sister homeschooled her oldest daughter for a few years when school was causing some anxiety and then sent her back to public school when the time was right for them. She also has her youngest in public school. Her example taught me that I could be flexible and not take an all or nothing approach and that nothing is set in stone.
Hi Amber. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. You raise a good point about flexibility—the idea that you can come and go from school/homeschooling as needed. There is an unfortunate tendency to feel locked in to one form of education over another, which is unnecessarily limiting. My younger brothers came and went several times from public school, and it worked out just fine for them. Good luck with your decision-making!
I homeschooled my kids for many years then put them in private school. I do believe everyone needs to make the choice that is right for their family in the moment, but I would push back on one thing you said, “my time to contribute to the outside world in a meaningful way has finally come.” When you raise strong, inquisitive, well-educated children you are contributing to the outside world in a meaningful way. You don’t necessarily need to be a wage-earner in the economic machine to make a positive contribution to society.
You are absolutely right to push back on that comment. I should have worded differently, and agree with you completely when it comes the importance of raising great kids. Nothing makes a bigger difference in the world than that!!
Love this piece, Katherine. My thoughts are similar to yours, including that I love my work and it fills my life with meaning and helps me contribute to the world. We keep our kids in U.S. public schools (not nearly as bad as the TX example you mention, but more emphasis on testing than I'd like) in part because it gives our kids an organic opportunity to easily form friendships with kids of different races and economic backgrounds (we're white and middle/upper middle class//our community is super diverse in many ways). I also agree that while not an absolute, we think there's value in deeply investing in our local public schools.
Also, thanks for sharing about the impact of an unintended pregnancy: so common, so important to name and normalize!
Thanks for your honesty! I was also homeschooled, and loved it, but we won't be homeschooling our three kids, for the reasons you note above. Part of me grieves that decision, but reading others like yourself brings me an additional measure of peace. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for writing this. I think another huge advantage to "normal" schooling is the diversity children encounter. My kids go to state school (in the UK, which also seems to suffer far less of the problems I hear about in the US) and their classmates are from all over the world, from all social classes, with all different types of families and home lives. Going to a diverse school gives them a deeper understanding of the world, and how to get along with other humans.
I love that your kids school has an emphasis on outdoor adventure and prioritizing the wellbeing of the children, not implementing screens and the like. I think if there were more schools like this, more people would participate. I homeschool mine and I moved to Texas specifically to do so, because of the large community of people who homeschool here. There are a lot of programs for kids to get into, and my kids love talking and playing with others in our neighborhood. I like being able to tailor what they learn, though it can be difficult at times, and they are doing well. If I need to supplement, I will. Overall, I’m remaining open. Thanks for sharing.
Love this. We didn’t homeschool the past two years and are this year. Taking it as it comes! I also dont like the binary thinking and rhetoric around this topic!
I grew up as one of the few public schooling children in a mostly homeschooling church community. I really appreciate your points here! While public schools aren't for everyone, the ones here in my rural community are pretty good, and even if you can choose not to use the public schools, it wouldn't be good for anyone if they collapsed. Public schools offer opportunities like chem labs, or in my case, band. It's good to have choices, and its okay for those choices to change over time, too. If I have kids, I might public school or homeschool depending on the child and the circumstances.
Thank you for sharing! I think you named a tension that a lot of us feel. Especially as a parent of a neurodivergent kid, I need the break and social support that school provides. However, I do worry about what school will look like as my boys age...we seem to be heading in the wrong direction down here in North Carolina and the pressures (and technology use) just increase as they get into middle and high school. My nephews in middle school use email and learning management systems for all assignments. Our neighborhood school gives each Kindergartner an iPad...
I just got the acceptance letter for my four year old for Head Start and am so excited. Our city offers free Pre-K to all three and four years old regardless of income. This program takes the kids to our local park, so my son and I already know the teacher, and this feels really right. I wish more people would get on board, especially since it is high quality and free.
Katherine, this piece came at exactly the right time!! As a parent in the US who just sent my oldest to kindergarten and my youngest to preschool, I’m feeling acutely the loss of the quality time we had together while also feeling excited about having more time to pursue dreams and projects that haven’t had much room to breathe over the last few years. I vacillate between seeing the benefits of homeschool as outweighing the problems with school (our kids attend a small, private Montessori school) and seeing the benefits of traditional school as outweighing the drawbacks of homeschool. My husband and I keep telling ourselves we’ll take it one year at a time and make changes as needed but man, how to school our children has been the first big parenting decision I’ve felt this conflicted on.
I so appreciate your comments about our civic duty. It's hard to tow the line between doing what's best for our own children and doing what's best for society at large. My son isn't school aged yet, but I'm grateful for the squeaky wheel parents who are working towards changing public schools for their own children and future students.
This was such a refreshing read, Katherine! My siblings and I grew up mostly homeschooling, and while I appreciated aspects of it I also remember really feeling bothered by the notion that homeschooling was an ethical obligation. My parents never expressed feeling this way (their choices had more to do with practicality and the affordability of schools in our area vs the quality of the public schools) but I knew quite a few families who did.
As of now, we have one teenager in private school and one teenager homeschooling, in keeping with the goals and needs of each. The one loves group learning and sports involvement, the other has apprenticeship goals and unique learning opportunities available that a typical school structure would necessarily exclude. I actively plan to homeschool the youngest for the early years, but also feel quite comfortable with the idea of switching to sending him to school later on. Especially because of this: "I view school as complementing my children’s learning, and then I fill in the gaps around those 6 hours." Schoolwork, even at home, is supplemental. I think if more people felt this way there might be less stress about the location and method of the schooling.
I love your emphasis on flexibility, how one model that works for a kid may not necessarily be right for another. Thanks for sharing!
I was a homeschool, then public school, then private school kid. So I like to think I have some insight into each, and we are using public school for our children - we are in a high achieving (high income) district in our state, which comes with some challenges, but also lots of parent support and great teachers. My philosophy is to evaluate that they are thriving and learning each year (or semester) and always remember we are responsible for their education. We can decide to use a school to assist us, but ultimately we will need to be available and involved in any education they are receiving.
I really enjoyed this piece! Most of the families in my community are religious (like myself) and view the homeschooling decision as a religious decision and I’ve always struggled with that. As someone who has taught in both public and private schools, I have the unique ability to see both options from the inside and I am still really drawn to the homeschooling option—but only when my kids are younger. Thank you for talking about this in a nuanced way instead of the black and white slant it normally takes!
This piece is lovely.
Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts so humbly and respectfully! I am considering homeschool as a potential option depending on my daughter's needs, our family's circumstances, what school options we end up having in the next few years, and the desire to live abroad temporarily. I live in New York and I worry about the emphasis on testing, overuse of a screens, and lack of outside time. At the same time I do feel some civic responsibility to try to make some change in the system through participation and I also love working at least part-time. My older sister homeschooled her oldest daughter for a few years when school was causing some anxiety and then sent her back to public school when the time was right for them. She also has her youngest in public school. Her example taught me that I could be flexible and not take an all or nothing approach and that nothing is set in stone.
Hi Amber. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. You raise a good point about flexibility—the idea that you can come and go from school/homeschooling as needed. There is an unfortunate tendency to feel locked in to one form of education over another, which is unnecessarily limiting. My younger brothers came and went several times from public school, and it worked out just fine for them. Good luck with your decision-making!
I homeschooled my kids for many years then put them in private school. I do believe everyone needs to make the choice that is right for their family in the moment, but I would push back on one thing you said, “my time to contribute to the outside world in a meaningful way has finally come.” When you raise strong, inquisitive, well-educated children you are contributing to the outside world in a meaningful way. You don’t necessarily need to be a wage-earner in the economic machine to make a positive contribution to society.
You are absolutely right to push back on that comment. I should have worded differently, and agree with you completely when it comes the importance of raising great kids. Nothing makes a bigger difference in the world than that!!