Always wonderful to come across concrete ideas for shaping days differently! We'll actually be heading up to Point Farms beach today to enjoy some sunshine, pebbles, and a refreshing swim :)
Thank you for sharing this. I have to say, this sounds pretty idyllic to me. As someone who lives in a city that isn't very bikable or walkable, I found your statement about consciously cultivating community very encouraging. My son is only 1 so I can only speak in theory, but it seems that community is a big component (and perhaps benefit) of a screen-free childhood. I'd love to know more about how went about this before your children were old enough to build their own friendships.
I agree. Really makes me think about how to do that. I’m in an area that’s fairly walkable/bikeable, but I’m trying to think about ways to get other parents on board with this (maybe starting for tweens). It takes a willing community to create a throwback childhood, but I wonder if COVID’s WFH push could actually facilitate it.
I’m having trouble getting my kids to play outside because we live on a farm. And yes they have so many acres to run and explore with things like a pool, zip line, playset, sandbox, volleyball net, and more. But the lack of friends who can easily come visit makes them very bored. They are six (twins). Any ideas?
Some thoughts: Can you "import" any children, i.e., organize longer, full-day hangouts with friends, or do a multi-day kid swap with cousins of a similar age? When I was little, my mom used to take my 3 cousins (all similarly aged to me and my sister) for a week, then we'd go to my aunt's farm for a subsequent week. We were all wonderfully entertained, and our mothers got a break. Are there any neighbourhood teens who you could hire to come play/hang out for a few hours to stimulate their play a bit?
Another thought: How do you respond to their boredom? If you ignore it and patiently encourage them to keep figuring it out, do they go off and entertain themselves eventually? Sometimes I create a list of unappealing household chores that need to be done, and tell them that if they're bored, they can do one of those tasks. The prospect of work does a marvelous job at making boredom disappear!
Are screens an option for their entertainment? Because if so, it could be a major disincentive from getting into imaginative play on their own.
Lastly, they are still young! They'll get more independent as they get older, and it will get easier for you.
You clearly don't have neurodivegent children. Where screens provide safety and regulation, creativity and problem solving. Find this a very privileged and bias viewpoint
You alluded to it in the last paragraph, but how do you deal with being screen-free outside the home / parents of friends who have different boundaries for their children? I love that you’ve made your home inviting for other neighborhood kids, but I’m curious how the dynamics change when they go to their friends’ houses.
Apologies if you’ve already written on this and I missed it!
Hi Katherine-Thank you for this post! I’m curious at what ages you could start to work most of the day and let your kids fend for themselves (largely)? I have a 7 and 9 year old and it doesn’t feel like we’re there yet, so they’re in camps a lot in summer.
Hi Emily. When they were younger, I used to work inside the house at the kitchen table, so I could keep an eye on them as they played. My strategy was always to start very early (5-5:30am) to log a few hours before they woke up. Then I'd mandate quiet time in the early afternoon to keep chipping away at it. I'd say that independence is dictated in large part by the older kid's ability to supervise, so likely within 1-2 years you'd be able to leave them for longer chunks of time, assuming they're comfortable with it.
Always wonderful to come across concrete ideas for shaping days differently! We'll actually be heading up to Point Farms beach today to enjoy some sunshine, pebbles, and a refreshing swim :)
Thank you for sharing this. I have to say, this sounds pretty idyllic to me. As someone who lives in a city that isn't very bikable or walkable, I found your statement about consciously cultivating community very encouraging. My son is only 1 so I can only speak in theory, but it seems that community is a big component (and perhaps benefit) of a screen-free childhood. I'd love to know more about how went about this before your children were old enough to build their own friendships.
I agree. Really makes me think about how to do that. I’m in an area that’s fairly walkable/bikeable, but I’m trying to think about ways to get other parents on board with this (maybe starting for tweens). It takes a willing community to create a throwback childhood, but I wonder if COVID’s WFH push could actually facilitate it.
I’m having trouble getting my kids to play outside because we live on a farm. And yes they have so many acres to run and explore with things like a pool, zip line, playset, sandbox, volleyball net, and more. But the lack of friends who can easily come visit makes them very bored. They are six (twins). Any ideas?
Some thoughts: Can you "import" any children, i.e., organize longer, full-day hangouts with friends, or do a multi-day kid swap with cousins of a similar age? When I was little, my mom used to take my 3 cousins (all similarly aged to me and my sister) for a week, then we'd go to my aunt's farm for a subsequent week. We were all wonderfully entertained, and our mothers got a break. Are there any neighbourhood teens who you could hire to come play/hang out for a few hours to stimulate their play a bit?
Another thought: How do you respond to their boredom? If you ignore it and patiently encourage them to keep figuring it out, do they go off and entertain themselves eventually? Sometimes I create a list of unappealing household chores that need to be done, and tell them that if they're bored, they can do one of those tasks. The prospect of work does a marvelous job at making boredom disappear!
Are screens an option for their entertainment? Because if so, it could be a major disincentive from getting into imaginative play on their own.
Lastly, they are still young! They'll get more independent as they get older, and it will get easier for you.
“Lifeguard parent.” I love this description
Thanks, Katherine!
You clearly don't have neurodivegent children. Where screens provide safety and regulation, creativity and problem solving. Find this a very privileged and bias viewpoint
You alluded to it in the last paragraph, but how do you deal with being screen-free outside the home / parents of friends who have different boundaries for their children? I love that you’ve made your home inviting for other neighborhood kids, but I’m curious how the dynamics change when they go to their friends’ houses.
Apologies if you’ve already written on this and I missed it!
they’re only hanging out with their close friends (most of whom have phones and no doubt “share” them when they’re hanging out).
Sincere inquiry as I’m confused by this: That means your kids are indeed on screens, when their close friends bring their phones and share them?
Hi Katherine-Thank you for this post! I’m curious at what ages you could start to work most of the day and let your kids fend for themselves (largely)? I have a 7 and 9 year old and it doesn’t feel like we’re there yet, so they’re in camps a lot in summer.
Hi Emily. When they were younger, I used to work inside the house at the kitchen table, so I could keep an eye on them as they played. My strategy was always to start very early (5-5:30am) to log a few hours before they woke up. Then I'd mandate quiet time in the early afternoon to keep chipping away at it. I'd say that independence is dictated in large part by the older kid's ability to supervise, so likely within 1-2 years you'd be able to leave them for longer chunks of time, assuming they're comfortable with it.
My kids are also 7 and 9, and I do a lot of half day camps
We did that too when they were younger.