His broad thesis is correct but hope is not altogether lost. About three weeks ago, I was sitting on the subway in London when a gaggle of schoolchildren entered my carriage. As there was a spare seat next to me, a young Indian boy about 12 years old took it and then asked me directly “how has your day been so far?” I told him it had been good and enquired of his own. He was in very positive spirits and informed me that he had enjoyed a great morning! He was returning from a school outing to Shakespeare’s Globe, upgraded on the site of the original Elizabethan theatre and retaining many features of its illustrious past. We chatted a few more minutes about his experience, what he loved most and, indeed, what he knew of Shakespeare’s plays! This delightful interlude lasted no more than five minutes as his party were changing trains but it was a reminder that kids do not automatically stare at their phones at the first opportunity. They are happily distracted by a sense of physical discovery. The real problem is adult behaviour which has normalised mobile usage and given it absurdly elevated status. One could survive quite comfortably with a dumb phone. The pace of life might change but, as the Indian boy displayed, more observation and curiosity invites us to be more human and reap the benefits.
"The Internet often brings out the worst in humans. Social media is not successful because it forces us to use its platforms against our will; it is successful because “it gives us what we want.” Whether we like it or not, algorithms are “adept at reading the human id and satisfying its desires, however twisted.”"
I think the "brings out the worst" framing is a bit wrong and the rest of your paragraph gets closer to the truth. I think the bigger problem is that we are all horrible (to greater or lesser degrees) underneath but that real-life social shaming has most of us keep it under wraps. Think of how even long ago when culture was different alcoholic, abusive husbands/dads wouldn't do it in public, instead keeping it for the privacy of home. Or consider how, when we're feeling frustrated with our children, we tend to be better parents when it happens in public than when it happens at home.
But now we've all become so atomised, spending so much time alone in our homes, that we've lost some (or all) of that social shaming conformity that, despite the warts, was actually civilizing us.
I think there is some (small) hope that the current (slow) shift from broadcast-to-the-world social media to smaller group-based chats might replicate some of the small scale tribal vibe that humans seem to require. It's not perfect because a big part of reality is that it is harder to carefully cultivate what you present to other people -- even in a group-chat of friends it is easy to elide the messy or ugly things.
Three things I would like to add: 1. Online technology has also brought us enormous benefits that has enabled global communication, health benefits, improved access to education, access to unending information, etc etc and it shouldn’t just be demonised. It needs to be regulated and children need to be safeguarded and we need to learn how to balance our engagement with it. 2. We as adults need to make the real world more exciting- give the young more opportunities in the local community, give them more responsibility and a sense of purpose outside of the home and away from the devices. 3. Adults need to start engaging with the local community again too. Even just a small commitment from every adult say an hour a year would start things rolling again.
When I was very young (over 60 years ago) my father would get home from work around 6pm, just in time for dinner. After getting a brief recounting of the day, he would some times poke me with questions about stuff I learned in school, like math. He'd go, 7+8, or 4 x 9, and see how fast I would come up with answers. It was fun to get faster. There were no calculators then. You did not pull out a phone to answer 11 x 12, you just knew it. I was good at it not because I was smarter than everyone else, it was because practice was fun. Memorization was part of the process. So now I can add prices of the produce I buy at the farmers market in my head before the vendor can do it on a calculator, especially on cold days in February, and my fingers don't freeze in the process. It is far better to learn math while walking in the woods or eating supper, than it is on a piece of paper in a classroom.
Not using a cellphone fixes a lot. I do find email a more clear and slower way to communicate and agree the slower ways are less volatile. Great article. First time here.
As an educator, I find this line very important: “He doesn’t do it in a shaming way; it’s more matter-of-fact.” I find college students willing to take a critical look at phone and media habits if they know they’re not being blamed for childhood or teen habits that got out of hand. Thank you for this informative review.
“The Internet often brings out the worst in humans. Social media is not successful because it forces us to use its platforms against our will; it is successful because ‘it gives us what we want.’ Whether we like it or not, algorithms are ‘adept at reading the human id and satisfying its desires, however twisted.’”
Today, I meet a six year old who had a smart phone. He needed it charged and asked if I could plug it in. As it happened, I could and I did. The device was completely dead. I asked him who gave him the phone? He said, “my dad”. I asked him what he did on it? “Play video games, text my people, look at Instagram and TikTok.” I told him when I was six I didn’t have a smart phone. “Do you know why” I asked? He said, “you weren’t allowed.” Sweet, but back in the 60’s there was no internet let alone smart phones. I felt sad for that boy and hoped he might be the exception to all the damning research on smart phones - depression, isolation, loneliness, purposelessness, bullying, porn, suicidal ideation, etc. There’s no way I’ll ever know. I’ll never meet that boy again. I didn’t even get his name.
Thank you for this writeup! I thought the "our own fault" theme in Superbloom was insightful. At first it depressed me because it did ring true, but as I thought about it more, it occurred to me that maybe this actually means we have more power to solve this vs. if it was entirely the fault of Big Tech. I think it starts with awareness. We need to be aware that we are evolutionarily hardwired to "want" what social media gives us, and also aware that this is bad for us. With that awareness, we can then work on putting up guardrails, like not participating in social media, and making other changes in our lives to be more intentional about tech use. Just a few thoughts that've been bouncing around in my head!
Katherine: I used to use all of the social media platforms (even going back to MySpace) but I quit all social media 11 years ago. I wrote about why at the time (and I'm happy to say I've stuck with it!):
His broad thesis is correct but hope is not altogether lost. About three weeks ago, I was sitting on the subway in London when a gaggle of schoolchildren entered my carriage. As there was a spare seat next to me, a young Indian boy about 12 years old took it and then asked me directly “how has your day been so far?” I told him it had been good and enquired of his own. He was in very positive spirits and informed me that he had enjoyed a great morning! He was returning from a school outing to Shakespeare’s Globe, upgraded on the site of the original Elizabethan theatre and retaining many features of its illustrious past. We chatted a few more minutes about his experience, what he loved most and, indeed, what he knew of Shakespeare’s plays! This delightful interlude lasted no more than five minutes as his party were changing trains but it was a reminder that kids do not automatically stare at their phones at the first opportunity. They are happily distracted by a sense of physical discovery. The real problem is adult behaviour which has normalised mobile usage and given it absurdly elevated status. One could survive quite comfortably with a dumb phone. The pace of life might change but, as the Indian boy displayed, more observation and curiosity invites us to be more human and reap the benefits.
Thank you for sharing that wonderful story!
And thank you for your gracious response!
"The Internet often brings out the worst in humans. Social media is not successful because it forces us to use its platforms against our will; it is successful because “it gives us what we want.” Whether we like it or not, algorithms are “adept at reading the human id and satisfying its desires, however twisted.”"
I think the "brings out the worst" framing is a bit wrong and the rest of your paragraph gets closer to the truth. I think the bigger problem is that we are all horrible (to greater or lesser degrees) underneath but that real-life social shaming has most of us keep it under wraps. Think of how even long ago when culture was different alcoholic, abusive husbands/dads wouldn't do it in public, instead keeping it for the privacy of home. Or consider how, when we're feeling frustrated with our children, we tend to be better parents when it happens in public than when it happens at home.
But now we've all become so atomised, spending so much time alone in our homes, that we've lost some (or all) of that social shaming conformity that, despite the warts, was actually civilizing us.
I think there is some (small) hope that the current (slow) shift from broadcast-to-the-world social media to smaller group-based chats might replicate some of the small scale tribal vibe that humans seem to require. It's not perfect because a big part of reality is that it is harder to carefully cultivate what you present to other people -- even in a group-chat of friends it is easy to elide the messy or ugly things.
Three things I would like to add: 1. Online technology has also brought us enormous benefits that has enabled global communication, health benefits, improved access to education, access to unending information, etc etc and it shouldn’t just be demonised. It needs to be regulated and children need to be safeguarded and we need to learn how to balance our engagement with it. 2. We as adults need to make the real world more exciting- give the young more opportunities in the local community, give them more responsibility and a sense of purpose outside of the home and away from the devices. 3. Adults need to start engaging with the local community again too. Even just a small commitment from every adult say an hour a year would start things rolling again.
When I was very young (over 60 years ago) my father would get home from work around 6pm, just in time for dinner. After getting a brief recounting of the day, he would some times poke me with questions about stuff I learned in school, like math. He'd go, 7+8, or 4 x 9, and see how fast I would come up with answers. It was fun to get faster. There were no calculators then. You did not pull out a phone to answer 11 x 12, you just knew it. I was good at it not because I was smarter than everyone else, it was because practice was fun. Memorization was part of the process. So now I can add prices of the produce I buy at the farmers market in my head before the vendor can do it on a calculator, especially on cold days in February, and my fingers don't freeze in the process. It is far better to learn math while walking in the woods or eating supper, than it is on a piece of paper in a classroom.
Not using a cellphone fixes a lot. I do find email a more clear and slower way to communicate and agree the slower ways are less volatile. Great article. First time here.
It certainly gets to the "root" of the problem, no?
As an educator, I find this line very important: “He doesn’t do it in a shaming way; it’s more matter-of-fact.” I find college students willing to take a critical look at phone and media habits if they know they’re not being blamed for childhood or teen habits that got out of hand. Thank you for this informative review.
This is scary because it’s so true:
“The Internet often brings out the worst in humans. Social media is not successful because it forces us to use its platforms against our will; it is successful because ‘it gives us what we want.’ Whether we like it or not, algorithms are ‘adept at reading the human id and satisfying its desires, however twisted.’”
Today, I meet a six year old who had a smart phone. He needed it charged and asked if I could plug it in. As it happened, I could and I did. The device was completely dead. I asked him who gave him the phone? He said, “my dad”. I asked him what he did on it? “Play video games, text my people, look at Instagram and TikTok.” I told him when I was six I didn’t have a smart phone. “Do you know why” I asked? He said, “you weren’t allowed.” Sweet, but back in the 60’s there was no internet let alone smart phones. I felt sad for that boy and hoped he might be the exception to all the damning research on smart phones - depression, isolation, loneliness, purposelessness, bullying, porn, suicidal ideation, etc. There’s no way I’ll ever know. I’ll never meet that boy again. I didn’t even get his name.
Thank you for this writeup! I thought the "our own fault" theme in Superbloom was insightful. At first it depressed me because it did ring true, but as I thought about it more, it occurred to me that maybe this actually means we have more power to solve this vs. if it was entirely the fault of Big Tech. I think it starts with awareness. We need to be aware that we are evolutionarily hardwired to "want" what social media gives us, and also aware that this is bad for us. With that awareness, we can then work on putting up guardrails, like not participating in social media, and making other changes in our lives to be more intentional about tech use. Just a few thoughts that've been bouncing around in my head!
Related: Smartphone Free Childhood US is hosting a Superbloom Zoom discussion on Feb 25 as part of our monthly book club. It is free and everyone is welcome to join! Register here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/YV8OURb_RiuMry0P4xpuSA#/registration
Katherine: I used to use all of the social media platforms (even going back to MySpace) but I quit all social media 11 years ago. I wrote about why at the time (and I'm happy to say I've stuck with it!):
https://sassone.wordpress.com/2014/08/13/thoughts-on-social-media/
Are you adding text to speech? Or it's automated for selected accounts?