As an elementary teacher this post is so important. We are struggling with the kids at school whose parents can't/won't parent and set boundaries. There is so much helplessness, like kids can't pick what they want for lunch, recognize their shoes are untied, ask for help, or try to open a locker that's a little stuck. Sometimes they just stand there, for a while, doing nothing, saying nothing. When I encounter this, I'll say something like "How can I help you? or What can I help you with?" I always wait for an answer from a student and do not leap in to support. Sometimes I wait awhile. But it's so important for kids to recognize this on their own and verbalize it! (Obviously, I wouldn't wait for an answer if a child was in danger. And I would know if a child in unable to verbalize because of a disability or special situation.)
As for screens...if students aren't looking at a school issued device, the teacher is using a projector for lessons. I'm rethinking how I can teach without my screen/TV/projector this year because of the overuse of screens.
Middle School screen/device use during the school day is an entirely different situation which led my husband and I removing our children from public education and settling for a private school that promised less decide use. They delivered on that promise. One of the first comments my son made about math at this new school was, "Mom, teachers actually check my work so I have to do/show it!" They do math 'old-school' with a paper and pencil!
@KB. As a high school teacher, I couldn’t agree more with you. Thank you for this excellent piece Katherine. I teach psychology and in my course starting about 10 years ago I developed an entire unit around understanding addiction and how it works in the brain and in day to day life and to cite Gabor Maté , the opposite of addiction is connection. I’m a huge believer in empowering kids with knowledge and because I’m teaching 16 and 17 year olds I do need technology to convey this message , but the main, focus of my class is interaction and reflection. My students often tell me it’s the most impactful course they’ve ever taken because they’re required to critically reflect and actively listen to each other. By the time kids get to me, they are more and more addicted to their devices and are almost adults, so the independence piece is so incredibly important. At this point in their life, they should be able to set those boundaries themselves, but so many don’t know how to because they were never enforced when they were little. I like to use Trevor Ragans work from The Learner Lab to teach them how to change habits and adopt an intentional growth mindset around their devices.
Even when a child becomes an adult, they still rely on the youthful boundaries set by their parents. They may not choose to listen to “that voice in their head”, but if things go sideways, they will probably listen to that voice next time !
I live in Vietnam, not America, but I was gobsmacked when both my wife and several of our neighbors said things like "we don't need to teach our kids X, the teachers at preschool will do it" (toilet training, eating at a table instead of running around, sitting to have hair braided without needing a screen, etc).
Agreed. It's so unfair to teachers, who already have an enormous task to do. I recall a conversation with a friend who's a kindergarten teacher and she said the same thing. Kids are supposed to be potty-trained by the time they come to school at age 4, but more and more are not, and what's the school supposed to do? They cannot refuse them education once they're at the legal minimum age. But it affects the whole class.
As an elementary teacher this post is so important. We are struggling with the kids at school whose parents can't/won't parent and set boundaries. There is so much helplessness, like kids can't pick what they want for lunch, recognize their shoes are untied, ask for help, or try to open a locker that's a little stuck. Sometimes they just stand there, for a while, doing nothing, saying nothing. When I encounter this, I'll say something like "How can I help you? or What can I help you with?" I always wait for an answer from a student and do not leap in to support. Sometimes I wait awhile. But it's so important for kids to recognize this on their own and verbalize it! (Obviously, I wouldn't wait for an answer if a child was in danger. And I would know if a child in unable to verbalize because of a disability or special situation.)
As for screens...if students aren't looking at a school issued device, the teacher is using a projector for lessons. I'm rethinking how I can teach without my screen/TV/projector this year because of the overuse of screens.
Middle School screen/device use during the school day is an entirely different situation which led my husband and I removing our children from public education and settling for a private school that promised less decide use. They delivered on that promise. One of the first comments my son made about math at this new school was, "Mom, teachers actually check my work so I have to do/show it!" They do math 'old-school' with a paper and pencil!
@KB. As a high school teacher, I couldn’t agree more with you. Thank you for this excellent piece Katherine. I teach psychology and in my course starting about 10 years ago I developed an entire unit around understanding addiction and how it works in the brain and in day to day life and to cite Gabor Maté , the opposite of addiction is connection. I’m a huge believer in empowering kids with knowledge and because I’m teaching 16 and 17 year olds I do need technology to convey this message , but the main, focus of my class is interaction and reflection. My students often tell me it’s the most impactful course they’ve ever taken because they’re required to critically reflect and actively listen to each other. By the time kids get to me, they are more and more addicted to their devices and are almost adults, so the independence piece is so incredibly important. At this point in their life, they should be able to set those boundaries themselves, but so many don’t know how to because they were never enforced when they were little. I like to use Trevor Ragans work from The Learner Lab to teach them how to change habits and adopt an intentional growth mindset around their devices.
Excellent article as usual! Everything I have read from you is spot on. I have yet to get your book but it’s top of my to read next! Thanks so much 😊
Thank you! Happy to hear it.
Even when a child becomes an adult, they still rely on the youthful boundaries set by their parents. They may not choose to listen to “that voice in their head”, but if things go sideways, they will probably listen to that voice next time !
I live in Vietnam, not America, but I was gobsmacked when both my wife and several of our neighbors said things like "we don't need to teach our kids X, the teachers at preschool will do it" (toilet training, eating at a table instead of running around, sitting to have hair braided without needing a screen, etc).
Like, what?!? We/you are the parents!
So it's not just an American/Western thing......
Agreed. It's so unfair to teachers, who already have an enormous task to do. I recall a conversation with a friend who's a kindergarten teacher and she said the same thing. Kids are supposed to be potty-trained by the time they come to school at age 4, but more and more are not, and what's the school supposed to do? They cannot refuse them education once they're at the legal minimum age. But it affects the whole class.