I appreciate how you highlight the simple, constructive ways that a consistent music practice can create positive friction, even without any career trajectory in music. Your mama had wise words to offer. It seems to me that with easy access to streaming music and the orientation towards monetizing everything has come a sharp decline in amateur music-making, whether that be music lessons, group singing, or learning songs simply because they're treasured and there aren't a dozen ways to stream them. And I believe the cost of that loss is far higher than we now realize.
I'm interested in what you've written on music practice, as I haven't quite decided what to do when my children start learning an instrument. I had a really awful experience growing up in that practice just became this battle and the resentment bled into my practice sessions. I enjoyed my lessons but hated playing at home, as even if I decided to practice on my own it had the flavour of a chore to it. Eventually (after a lot of arguing back and forth) I ended up quitting lessons altogether. I now remember little of the instrument and am very slow to music read. On the other hand my husband was never pressured to practice and his music playing was always for fun, and he can pick up any woodwind instrument and play it even after years of no music. He also started tinkering with a harp in the last few years and was rapidly able to gain proficiency.
I absolutely wish I knew how to play an instrument well, but I'm not convinced that making children practice is the best or only way. It obviously works sometimes (my sibling is now a performer) but obviously I'm influenced by my own negative experience.
I love this post. Thank you for sharing. It’s validating to me because I feel so strongly about raising my son with minimal screen time because he deserves the gift of developing his mind and creativity. It’s sad that this decision makes me stand out in a negative way as if I’m too rigid. I know in the end it will pay off. I feel encouraged after reading this, along with the rest if your articles. I actually signed up my toddler for music class yesterday which we’ll start over the summer. I see he is already musically inclined with his ability to match rhythm and tone at a young age or create his own instruments on his accord with his toys. It’s fascinating to observe his mind at work when given the freedom to explore and play.
I taught piano for a long time and inevitably when my occupation came up in a social setting, someone would say, “I took piano for ___ years. I don’t remember any of it now. I wish my parents had made me stick with it.” It was always the parents they blamed, even though I’m sure they were the ones complaining and fighting and begging to quit. They needed the boundary but were too young to summon the self-discipline to establish it themselves.
Music isn’t for everyone, of course, but (as Angela Duckworth points out in Grit) picking something and sticking with it is really important. Not because you’re sure to be a phenom, although you will develop proficiency over time. Long-term commitments help strengthen the skills that keep you from giving up as soon as life challenges you. For more on this, see the famous marshmallow test!
I appreciate how you highlight the simple, constructive ways that a consistent music practice can create positive friction, even without any career trajectory in music. Your mama had wise words to offer. It seems to me that with easy access to streaming music and the orientation towards monetizing everything has come a sharp decline in amateur music-making, whether that be music lessons, group singing, or learning songs simply because they're treasured and there aren't a dozen ways to stream them. And I believe the cost of that loss is far higher than we now realize.
I'm interested in what you've written on music practice, as I haven't quite decided what to do when my children start learning an instrument. I had a really awful experience growing up in that practice just became this battle and the resentment bled into my practice sessions. I enjoyed my lessons but hated playing at home, as even if I decided to practice on my own it had the flavour of a chore to it. Eventually (after a lot of arguing back and forth) I ended up quitting lessons altogether. I now remember little of the instrument and am very slow to music read. On the other hand my husband was never pressured to practice and his music playing was always for fun, and he can pick up any woodwind instrument and play it even after years of no music. He also started tinkering with a harp in the last few years and was rapidly able to gain proficiency.
I absolutely wish I knew how to play an instrument well, but I'm not convinced that making children practice is the best or only way. It obviously works sometimes (my sibling is now a performer) but obviously I'm influenced by my own negative experience.
I love this post. Thank you for sharing. It’s validating to me because I feel so strongly about raising my son with minimal screen time because he deserves the gift of developing his mind and creativity. It’s sad that this decision makes me stand out in a negative way as if I’m too rigid. I know in the end it will pay off. I feel encouraged after reading this, along with the rest if your articles. I actually signed up my toddler for music class yesterday which we’ll start over the summer. I see he is already musically inclined with his ability to match rhythm and tone at a young age or create his own instruments on his accord with his toys. It’s fascinating to observe his mind at work when given the freedom to explore and play.
I taught piano for a long time and inevitably when my occupation came up in a social setting, someone would say, “I took piano for ___ years. I don’t remember any of it now. I wish my parents had made me stick with it.” It was always the parents they blamed, even though I’m sure they were the ones complaining and fighting and begging to quit. They needed the boundary but were too young to summon the self-discipline to establish it themselves.
Music isn’t for everyone, of course, but (as Angela Duckworth points out in Grit) picking something and sticking with it is really important. Not because you’re sure to be a phenom, although you will develop proficiency over time. Long-term commitments help strengthen the skills that keep you from giving up as soon as life challenges you. For more on this, see the famous marshmallow test!