My husband is a computer engineer and our oldest is heading down the same road. The Internet is very important in our home, but it is frustrating that we have more screens than people. (The side affect of having techies in the family.) We want our kids to learn to have a healthy relationship with their use of the Internet and smart phones. This is what we have figured out for our family: teens get a non-SIM card phone at 15. They don't have a phone number or the Internet via cell phone towers - just on WiFi at home. We have parental controls on until they're 16. When they turn 16 they can get a SIM card but they have to pay for their own phone service. We have monthly check ins with all our kids to talk about life and their phone/Internet/screen usage. I recently floated the idea with my 8 year old of having 2 mornings a week where he doesn't watch TV before school, but he reads books, listens to audiobooks or we play a game together. He was willing to give it a try and last night he even reminded me that today was a no screen day. 🥺 We keep tweaking as we go, but it feels good to be making some progress!
My son recently moved in with my sister to go to college. She put a large screen tv in his room. I asked her not to, as he already has a phone and a computer, and a laptop. Why would I want, or he need, an additional screen in his room in her house? My objection didn't make enough of an impact. The screen went in. I had to let it go, as I'm not there and can do better by talking to my son about health, resilience, and real life engagement, and he does have a rich physical and sensory lifestyle...but there are other influences there, with my family of origin, that I began to deeply consider and it woke me up to other important facets of appropriate development and sensory needs for children, teens, and adults. As a therapist and an educator, I'm now better prepared to discuss with my own parent/family clients how to equip young children with the tools for a robust and engaged life.
I, too, love hearing about how real people navigate these questions with their families. It is inspiring to realize that it IS possible to reclaim our time and sense of self. It's hard work, but it's worth it.
Interesting but so difficult to put into practice. Life runs through smartphones now, from doctors appointments to homework assignments. I used to teach and I have found out things about my subject that are not new facts but simply didn't appear in textbooks, by reading on line.
My husband is a computer engineer and our oldest is heading down the same road. The Internet is very important in our home, but it is frustrating that we have more screens than people. (The side affect of having techies in the family.) We want our kids to learn to have a healthy relationship with their use of the Internet and smart phones. This is what we have figured out for our family: teens get a non-SIM card phone at 15. They don't have a phone number or the Internet via cell phone towers - just on WiFi at home. We have parental controls on until they're 16. When they turn 16 they can get a SIM card but they have to pay for their own phone service. We have monthly check ins with all our kids to talk about life and their phone/Internet/screen usage. I recently floated the idea with my 8 year old of having 2 mornings a week where he doesn't watch TV before school, but he reads books, listens to audiobooks or we play a game together. He was willing to give it a try and last night he even reminded me that today was a no screen day. 🥺 We keep tweaking as we go, but it feels good to be making some progress!
Oh, and no phones or laptops in their rooms until they are adults at 18!
I love Anna Lembke. Understanding dopamine better is utterly essential in the fight to stop screens taking over our entire lives! Thanks for this
My son recently moved in with my sister to go to college. She put a large screen tv in his room. I asked her not to, as he already has a phone and a computer, and a laptop. Why would I want, or he need, an additional screen in his room in her house? My objection didn't make enough of an impact. The screen went in. I had to let it go, as I'm not there and can do better by talking to my son about health, resilience, and real life engagement, and he does have a rich physical and sensory lifestyle...but there are other influences there, with my family of origin, that I began to deeply consider and it woke me up to other important facets of appropriate development and sensory needs for children, teens, and adults. As a therapist and an educator, I'm now better prepared to discuss with my own parent/family clients how to equip young children with the tools for a robust and engaged life.
I, too, love hearing about how real people navigate these questions with their families. It is inspiring to realize that it IS possible to reclaim our time and sense of self. It's hard work, but it's worth it.
Interesting but so difficult to put into practice. Life runs through smartphones now, from doctors appointments to homework assignments. I used to teach and I have found out things about my subject that are not new facts but simply didn't appear in textbooks, by reading on line.