What an amazing opportunity! I am more impressed by your calmness! :) One of my best friends is from Japan and returns every year. We are hoping to go maybe next year and spend some time with them while we are there. Her husband has been involved in rotary and his mother was a Hiroshima survivor so a lot of his global work revolves around peace and teaching values and lessons learned from that time to new generations.
Our ten year old daughter just went on her first overnight (two nights) school excursion to Farm School. Her anxiety about it was incredibly high in the weeks leading up to it, but I knew that once she got there she would be fine. Sure enough, both nights there was a small window of opportunity for kids to call home if they needed it and she didn't call us. I was SO proud of her. And you're right - as a Gen-X-er once I left the house I didn't talk to my parents until I got home from school or needed to be picked up from somewhere. And even then it was call from a pay phone, wait three rings and then hang up (so if we didn't have any coins we could still let them know we needed to be picked up at the designated spot). of course this led to some miscommunication because inevitably my dad would pick up the phone by accident but we figured it out :)
How exciting for your son! My own son lives nearby in Yamaguchi prefecture, and they go to Hiroshima often. There's lots of shoreline--he may well end up swimming in the Sea of Japan. My son's in the Navy, so he's a little older, and we frequently have 30-day blackouts because of his being on deployment. His wife has absolutely loved their time in Japan. While it hasn't been as immersive, she's made a big point of leaving base to shop and travel, even with a newborn. What a great experience for all of you.
I have spent my whole life wondering if my relationship with my mom and now with my son was strange because neither relationship had a daily, heck even a weekly, expectation of communication. My mom has passed away, but now with my son we love spending in person time together, but very rarely communicate in between except to set up the next date. Thank you for making me feel seen.
"It’s OK to be quiet sometimes, to go radio silent, to absorb an experience and simply exist in the moment without sharing a detailed play-by-play with anyone else."
Yes, we have largely lost that, haven't we? We feel so disoriented without our phones and ability to instantly connect.
I totally agree with the importance of not texting all day with our kids. It is an important part of the process of separation and individuation that can be blocked if both kids and parents text each other all day. It feels good to know you can be there for your kid, but kids need to discover their own capabilities without having us in their pocket.
I went on a Rotary Youth Exchange in 2007 and it was a wonderful experience. Your son is going to have so many lifelong memories from this trip! So interesting to hear that he had no choice in destination though, as when I went we were told to submit our top three preferences and usually we'd be sent to one of those (if not necessarily the first choice). Is this not the case in Canada?
Oh Katherine, I love this so much. Thank you. "The longest umbilical cord" - hadn't heard that before, and I love the analogy. I too remember standing in a back alley phone booth, calling my mom in tears and begging to come home after my first few days in Spain as a 19-year-old. That study abroad semester ended up being the best experience of my life, and I went on to live abroad five more times thereafter. The initial process is hard on both ends (at the time I had no concept of how hard that conversation was for my own mother), but to her credit she did not attempt to rescue me from it. I hope your son enjoys his time in Japan, and that these 30 days will not be too hard on you. :) I'm now going to go look into this program, I had no idea it existed.
This is an excellent reminder to parents how without intending to do it we continue to tether our children to us. Although 25 years ago, my son went away to camp for a month in the summer. Parent weekend was not until toward the end of their session when the child had at least partially worked through homesickness and was having a super time with new friends or reconnecting with old ones from the previous summer. The camp was adamant about this unless there was some type of real concern. It prepared my son for longer periods of “radio silence” but letters were exchanged! Great preparation for post secondary education away from home.
Our kids have been going to 5 weeks of sleep away camp since there were small. The first year was so hard for us the parents, especially. There are only snail mail letters to share how everyone is doing + as our kids have gotten older those we get fewer and fewer of those each summer. This 36 days of no direct contact has taught us much about trusting the world + our kids. I’m so grateful for this experience + the lessons is brought us.
I have only been to Japan once, but it was to the Hiroshima prefecture around August 6, 2018 and the 73rd anniversary of the atomic bomb drop. That was a solemn event. Before and after were not. The hotel I stayed had bikes you could check out for free, daily, so I rode a bike to the university and around Higashihiroshima, west of Hiroshima, and the agriculture embedded in and around the town. The hills are covered in forest and rice paddies penetrate the town. The Hiroshima Bay and its oyster cultivation is worth a visit, and they prepare the oysters better than anywhere I had visited before or since. Your son can walk and bike almost everywhere safely. Prepare for some good lessons in small scale, town-based agriculture.
I bet they do not recommend this to Italian mothers: I actually could not do this, and my friends either 😅
What an amazing opportunity! I am more impressed by your calmness! :) One of my best friends is from Japan and returns every year. We are hoping to go maybe next year and spend some time with them while we are there. Her husband has been involved in rotary and his mother was a Hiroshima survivor so a lot of his global work revolves around peace and teaching values and lessons learned from that time to new generations.
Our ten year old daughter just went on her first overnight (two nights) school excursion to Farm School. Her anxiety about it was incredibly high in the weeks leading up to it, but I knew that once she got there she would be fine. Sure enough, both nights there was a small window of opportunity for kids to call home if they needed it and she didn't call us. I was SO proud of her. And you're right - as a Gen-X-er once I left the house I didn't talk to my parents until I got home from school or needed to be picked up from somewhere. And even then it was call from a pay phone, wait three rings and then hang up (so if we didn't have any coins we could still let them know we needed to be picked up at the designated spot). of course this led to some miscommunication because inevitably my dad would pick up the phone by accident but we figured it out :)
How exciting for your son! My own son lives nearby in Yamaguchi prefecture, and they go to Hiroshima often. There's lots of shoreline--he may well end up swimming in the Sea of Japan. My son's in the Navy, so he's a little older, and we frequently have 30-day blackouts because of his being on deployment. His wife has absolutely loved their time in Japan. While it hasn't been as immersive, she's made a big point of leaving base to shop and travel, even with a newborn. What a great experience for all of you.
That's wonderful to hear. I'll pass it on to my son. Thanks!
I have spent my whole life wondering if my relationship with my mom and now with my son was strange because neither relationship had a daily, heck even a weekly, expectation of communication. My mom has passed away, but now with my son we love spending in person time together, but very rarely communicate in between except to set up the next date. Thank you for making me feel seen.
"It’s OK to be quiet sometimes, to go radio silent, to absorb an experience and simply exist in the moment without sharing a detailed play-by-play with anyone else."
Yes, we have largely lost that, haven't we? We feel so disoriented without our phones and ability to instantly connect.
Congratulations on submitting the manuscript! Can’t wait to hear more about it!
Congratulations on the book! As for the other part, I cannot even imagine how difficult that is, even if it is for the best.
I totally agree with the importance of not texting all day with our kids. It is an important part of the process of separation and individuation that can be blocked if both kids and parents text each other all day. It feels good to know you can be there for your kid, but kids need to discover their own capabilities without having us in their pocket.
I went on a Rotary Youth Exchange in 2007 and it was a wonderful experience. Your son is going to have so many lifelong memories from this trip! So interesting to hear that he had no choice in destination though, as when I went we were told to submit our top three preferences and usually we'd be sent to one of those (if not necessarily the first choice). Is this not the case in Canada?
Oh Katherine, I love this so much. Thank you. "The longest umbilical cord" - hadn't heard that before, and I love the analogy. I too remember standing in a back alley phone booth, calling my mom in tears and begging to come home after my first few days in Spain as a 19-year-old. That study abroad semester ended up being the best experience of my life, and I went on to live abroad five more times thereafter. The initial process is hard on both ends (at the time I had no concept of how hard that conversation was for my own mother), but to her credit she did not attempt to rescue me from it. I hope your son enjoys his time in Japan, and that these 30 days will not be too hard on you. :) I'm now going to go look into this program, I had no idea it existed.
Does anyone know how the restriction in Australia is enforced?
In my family the girls are 15 & 13.
What would prevent the soon to be 16-year-old from sharing screens with her sister?
This is an excellent reminder to parents how without intending to do it we continue to tether our children to us. Although 25 years ago, my son went away to camp for a month in the summer. Parent weekend was not until toward the end of their session when the child had at least partially worked through homesickness and was having a super time with new friends or reconnecting with old ones from the previous summer. The camp was adamant about this unless there was some type of real concern. It prepared my son for longer periods of “radio silence” but letters were exchanged! Great preparation for post secondary education away from home.
Our kids have been going to 5 weeks of sleep away camp since there were small. The first year was so hard for us the parents, especially. There are only snail mail letters to share how everyone is doing + as our kids have gotten older those we get fewer and fewer of those each summer. This 36 days of no direct contact has taught us much about trusting the world + our kids. I’m so grateful for this experience + the lessons is brought us.
What an amazing opportunity for personal development!
I have only been to Japan once, but it was to the Hiroshima prefecture around August 6, 2018 and the 73rd anniversary of the atomic bomb drop. That was a solemn event. Before and after were not. The hotel I stayed had bikes you could check out for free, daily, so I rode a bike to the university and around Higashihiroshima, west of Hiroshima, and the agriculture embedded in and around the town. The hills are covered in forest and rice paddies penetrate the town. The Hiroshima Bay and its oyster cultivation is worth a visit, and they prepare the oysters better than anywhere I had visited before or since. Your son can walk and bike almost everywhere safely. Prepare for some good lessons in small scale, town-based agriculture.
That sounds fantastic. I'll have him read your comment. Thank you!