I so loved, “My son immediately popped up in front of me and said, ‘Aha! That was a test to see if you’d pull out your phone as soon as I went outside. You failed!’” It gave me a good laugh—if I’d been nearby, you would’ve heard a loud, “Busted!”
I’m a QC manager for my employer, and I appreciate when technicians call me out on my misses—it keeps us all on our toes.
I’ve started leaving my phone in my vehicle when I’m eating with someone at a restaurant. Inevitably, they’ll say, “You forgot your phone,” or something similar if we rode together. It’s as if phone are a part of our dress and without one people react like I'm stepping out almost indecently exposed.
Good for you! A "car phone" was a good idea for safety purposes, but we went wrong when we started thinking we needed to carry it into stores, restaurants, and friends' homes. I let mine live at home or in the car.
This is something I am constantly wrestling with. I have a 7 and 5 year old and a week old baby. My first postpartums and at least the first three years of being a mom I was scrolling all the time. I want this baby to experience a very different mom than my first did. I am constantly working on my habits! I do find it helpful to tell my older kids what I’m doing “Daddy texted me and I’m just writing a text back to him about ____.” “I’m adding some milk and butter to the grocery order, then I’ll be done” Depending on what I’m doing, if they’re waiting for me I sometimes narrate what I’m typing.
I try to put the phone down but struggle with these two situations: 1. Those of us with flexible jobs who sometimes spend time with our children out and about, but also need to see/respond to work messages on our phone to assess/address urgent issues. 2. Texting to figure out plans such as communicating with the other parent about that day's plans, setting up playdates, family hangouts etc. Thoughts?
I absolutely loved this. I am a huge advocate for not being around my phone and doing things without it. Walks with the dogs are completely phone-free, reading, hanging out with friends, even just chatting in the kitchen, making dinner. I would love to create even more distance with my phone and often take social media breaks for months at a time. I love promoting this with my students and creating immersive digital-free experiences as an educator and worldschooling host!
Love this, Katherine! My husband and I have had a lot of conversations about how we can be more intentional about our phone/tablet use in our home, but also how we can make our home a phone free space for guests without it coming across in a shaming way. But modeling is such a great way to start!
Yes to all of this! I am definitely guilty of this at times too. My husband was at the Master's and loved that it is screen free. That is how all activities and sporting events should be. I recently attended a kids musical and couldn't see the stage due to all the phones out recording. The school should have (and maybe did) make a recording of the performance to send to the parents/guardians of the kids involved. My kid wasn't in it, but I was just infuriated by the whole process!
Thank you so much for this article. I am hopeful that parents can see what kids tell me all the time in my practice: they are extraordinarily hurt by parents who ignore them for the sake of a device. It's not temporary pain, but the kind of hurt that changes kids, makes them grow distant and search for their own comfort in a device.
I so loved, “My son immediately popped up in front of me and said, ‘Aha! That was a test to see if you’d pull out your phone as soon as I went outside. You failed!’” It gave me a good laugh—if I’d been nearby, you would’ve heard a loud, “Busted!”
I’m a QC manager for my employer, and I appreciate when technicians call me out on my misses—it keeps us all on our toes.
I’ve started leaving my phone in my vehicle when I’m eating with someone at a restaurant. Inevitably, they’ll say, “You forgot your phone,” or something similar if we rode together. It’s as if phone are a part of our dress and without one people react like I'm stepping out almost indecently exposed.
Good for you! A "car phone" was a good idea for safety purposes, but we went wrong when we started thinking we needed to carry it into stores, restaurants, and friends' homes. I let mine live at home or in the car.
This is something I am constantly wrestling with. I have a 7 and 5 year old and a week old baby. My first postpartums and at least the first three years of being a mom I was scrolling all the time. I want this baby to experience a very different mom than my first did. I am constantly working on my habits! I do find it helpful to tell my older kids what I’m doing “Daddy texted me and I’m just writing a text back to him about ____.” “I’m adding some milk and butter to the grocery order, then I’ll be done” Depending on what I’m doing, if they’re waiting for me I sometimes narrate what I’m typing.
I try to put the phone down but struggle with these two situations: 1. Those of us with flexible jobs who sometimes spend time with our children out and about, but also need to see/respond to work messages on our phone to assess/address urgent issues. 2. Texting to figure out plans such as communicating with the other parent about that day's plans, setting up playdates, family hangouts etc. Thoughts?
I absolutely loved this. I am a huge advocate for not being around my phone and doing things without it. Walks with the dogs are completely phone-free, reading, hanging out with friends, even just chatting in the kitchen, making dinner. I would love to create even more distance with my phone and often take social media breaks for months at a time. I love promoting this with my students and creating immersive digital-free experiences as an educator and worldschooling host!
Yes! Every parent should consider these wise words.
Thank you.
Love this, Katherine! My husband and I have had a lot of conversations about how we can be more intentional about our phone/tablet use in our home, but also how we can make our home a phone free space for guests without it coming across in a shaming way. But modeling is such a great way to start!
Yes to all of this! I am definitely guilty of this at times too. My husband was at the Master's and loved that it is screen free. That is how all activities and sporting events should be. I recently attended a kids musical and couldn't see the stage due to all the phones out recording. The school should have (and maybe did) make a recording of the performance to send to the parents/guardians of the kids involved. My kid wasn't in it, but I was just infuriated by the whole process!
well said❤️
Thank you so much for this article. I am hopeful that parents can see what kids tell me all the time in my practice: they are extraordinarily hurt by parents who ignore them for the sake of a device. It's not temporary pain, but the kind of hurt that changes kids, makes them grow distant and search for their own comfort in a device.